Shake it out.

“I am done with my graceless heart – tonight I’m going to cut it out and let it restart.”

It feels like my have been scrubbed with a scrub brush, that feeling you get after a long cry but it isn’t going away. I get chills when it’s warm. Getting motivated has become even more difficult, even to do simple things like grab breakfast.

I’ve had 3 panic attacks in the past 2 days. Yeowch. Apparently this leaves your body pretty depleted.

As I write this, I’m on a bus home. I watch a little red ball cross the street. Cars pass, nudging it. I assume it will get run over, crushed, but it doesn’t, it only bounces higher with each contact.

Soon, miraculously, it is on the other side.

On the curb of a busy gas station.

Surely it will be nudged back into traffic, into its little dance, again.

That doesn’t matter. It hasn’t lost anything. It is still going someplace.

I want to be like that little red ball. I am like the that little red ball. No matter where life takes me, I will bounce back up.

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